I expect that we have all done it. I certainly have, often. That is, found myself in a conversation with a partner, work colleague, or friend, trying to convince them that my point of view is the correct one. The problem is that they are not listening. My logic and/or description of the situation is factual but they refuse to see it!
Sometimes these situations degenerate into a vitriolic exchange and I am left contemplating how that happened.
Later, upon reflection, sometimes at least, I realize that I carry some responsibility with respect to the degeneration of what masqueraded as communication. Furthermore, it usually becomes apparent to me that I was not mindful of my own biases, assumptions and I lacked an appreciation of the other person’s perspectives.
Communication is a two way process and we generally learn much more by being patient, empathetic and mindful of what is really occurring during verbal exchanges.
The Fight to be Right is really low level communication and often achieves little more than highlighting our own inadequacies and vulnerabilities.
PS: “Listening is a far more difficult process than most people imagine … to let go utterly of ourselves, to let go of all the information, all the ideas, and all the prejudices that our heads are stuffed with… The beginners mind is an open mind, an empty mind, and if we really listen with a beginner’s mind, we might really begin to hear.”
( pg 122 The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying “Soyal Rinpoche” Random House Australia Pty Ltd)
Patrick Moloney 18/6/17