Kelly and her husband Tom have three children. Their relationship is, despite some challenges over the years, very supportive in nature. They had significant problems managing the behaviour of their youngest daughter Bianca. As a teenager Bianca was quite abusive to both her parents and to her two older siblings.
Just after Bianca’s eighteenth birthday Tom and Kelly had a conversation regarding Bianca’s behaviour. In light of the fact that, as parents, they had tried lots of different strategies, all to no avail, Kelly suggested to Tom that they needed to ask Bianca to leave and live elsewhere. Tom was supportive of this idea and a day later they sat down with Bianca and told her of their decision. Their approach was not demeaning towards Bianca, more just a matter of fact statement. They felt it was time for Bianca to take responsibility for her herself, furthermore, they were concerned about the effect that she was having on the whole family unit. They were also aware of the possibility that they were enabling the poor behaviour.
Bianca reluctantly accepted their decision. Possibly comforted by the fact that Kelly had stressed that they would always be there for her and not hold a grudge regardless of what had transpired.
Over the next three years Tom and Kelly did not, for the most part, know where their youngest was living, apart from knowing she was in the Northern suburbs and that she was generally not in good company. Once a week, for almost three years Kelly emailed Bianca restating her support and love for her. Rarely did Bianca reply.
Finally, almost three years to the day, Bianca, without warning, presented herself at her parents’ home, pregnant and penniless. Presumably in the hope that she would be accepted back into the family. Tom and Kelly supported fully Bianca’s decision to have the baby. Bianca made the transition from her past behaviour into being a beautiful mother to her new baby. The anger and negativity towards her family disappeared.
Authored by Patrick Moloney with permission from Kelly (her real name not used for privacy reasons).Copyright 2020